20 things you need to understand in order to love me

1. I love LOST

2. I am always open to discussion, but you may have to work hard to change my mind

3. I have no filter - I say what I think almost all the time, so honesty is part of the package. I try to be tactful about it, usually, but saying what needs to be said is more important than not hurting someone's feelings.

4. I find it very hard to be anyone but myself.

5. I think about everything... a lot... And I find it hard to switch that off. But I also have a childish side, especially in my sense of humour.

6. I am a spelling/grammar Nazi, and I abuse the ellipsis.

7. I hate not understanding things, or when things don't make sense to me. This includes people.

8. I am a deist - I believe religion is a personal relationship between you and God, and no one has the right to tell you how to conduct that relationship. Obviously, this means I disavow any kind of organised religion, or religious authority on earth. I also believe in a non-interventionist God, who set the ball rolling and left us to it. I don't mind what you believe as long as it doesn't make you act like a douche (racism, homophobia etc.). This does not apply to my friends - it bothers me if my friends believe things that don't make sense to me.

9. I believe philosophy, religion and science are all entirely compatible, and take great issue with any who says otherwise, or those who try and drive a wedge between them (Dawkins, Dennett, the Pope etc.)

10. If I love you, I'll love you totally. Life is too short to be anything but all or nothing. I will not moderate myself. I am intense and passionate, and I see that as a strength. If you try to tell me it's a weakness, you have not understood.

11. I enjoy public displays of affection.

12. I cannot separate the emotional and the physical. If I feel deeply for you emotionally, as friends or more, it will show physically.

13. I love Radio 4 comedy, and Douglas Adams Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy trilogy in 5 parts. If you do not understand these things and why I love them, you will never understand me.

14. I am a perfectionist, and I will not settle. I have 4 equally important categories of compatibility I need from friends, and especially from relationships, that I will not and cannot compromise on - emotional, intellectual, physical, spiritual. Heart, mind, body, soul. Being attracted to someone is not enough. Sometimes, even love is not enough.

15. I do not do things by halves, and am drawn to hyperbole. I usually love or hate things, especially in the aesthetic sense.

16. I do not care about some things most people find important, like cleanliness, or being accepted by the majority.

17. I believe that human beings are animals that have survived and prospered because of our ability and propensity to judge, and to deny this is foolish. So I will judge someone on their appearance. What makes someone judgemental is an unwillingness to revise such judgements on the basis of new information, or to act on them prematurely. In other words, I love a good bitch.

18. I swear. A lot. I also refer to people as dude or sweetheart most of the time. If either of these things offends you, live with it, or go fuck yourself, sweetheart :P

19. I don't believe in unconditional love. I think it is morally incoherent to love someone unconditionally, no matter how they behave. Love should have to be earnt, and should never be taken for granted. This is why I prefer cats to dogs.

20. I'm the sort of person who believes that you shouldn't knock something before you've tried it, for the most part - if I criticise something, I want to do it from a position of knowledge and strength, to be able to say I've tried it and it's not for me.