Wednesday 16 December 2009

Quit wining, why don't you?

So apparently Sir Liam Donaldson is an idiot. Because despite all the evidence to the contrary - France, Italy, in fact, pretty much the whole of Europe - parents are being advised not to let their children drink alcohol before they're 18 (when they can get it themselves) as such behaviour will lead to binge drinking and alcoholism. The BBC paraphrases it as

letting children taste alcohol to ready them for adulthood was "misguided".
and goes on to say

Sir Liam described the idea of a glass of watered-down wine for a child as a "middle-class obsession"
before the real punchline of

"The science is clear - drinking, particularly at a young age, a lack of parental supervision, exposing children to drink-fuelled events and failing to engage with them as they grow up are the root causes from which our country's serious alcohol problem has developed."
Now if we are to believe this as reported, what Sir Liam is doing is taking clearly Britain-centric evidence and treating it in isolation, which is, quite frankly, idiocy. Of the four factors he identifies above, 2 are patently more serious than the other 2. Across Europe, certainly France, Italy, Spain and other sensible cultures, children are allowed to drink and 'exposed' to parties on a regular basis, with little to no ill effect. It is the lack of parental supervision or engagement and discussion which are the problems here, much as with our apparent sex epidemic (not that I'm saying parents should supervise their children's sex lives).

To put it in perhaps oversimplified logical terms, if you look at the global scale, most children who drink and are exposed to alcohol do not grow up to be alcoholics or binge drinkers. So you have to look at the other factors which make the UK different to sensible drinking societies, which are, as mentioned, mostly parental ones. Parents need to talk to their kids about alcohol, what it is and what it can do.

But kids won't listen to parents who they don't respect, parents who have no authority over them. So part of the problem is the parenting problem - many parents in the UK cannot reach their children. They cannot pass on all the blame for this, although there are mitigating circumstances in the case of alcohol - the UK has a binge drinking culture. But such reasoning leads to a chicken and egg argument: which came first, the binge drinking culture, or the lack of parental control?

By examining the apparent scientific evidence in isolation, Sir Donaldson is looking only at short term solutions and short term results. He makes no real effort to examine the cause or root of the problem, instead applying a band-aid to the still gaping wound. It is not enough to say "This is how Britain is, let's deal with it." Rather he should say "This is how Britain ought to be, let's make it happen." Idealistic perhaps, but reminiscent of a George Bernard Shaw quotation which inspired (and later eulogised) a great man:

Some men see things as they are and ask why. I dream dreams that never were and ask why not?
After all, I drank from an early age, and I turned out all right... Now, where did I leave that Scotch...?

Monday 14 December 2009

Rage Against What You Don't Understand

To follow up on my previous article, I want to talk about the anti-X-Factor campaigns this Christmas. The most prominent of these is probably the Rage For Christmas No. 1 Campaign, an attempt to propel what is, admittedly, an absolute 'choon' in Killing In The Name Of to the top spot on December 25. This campaign is a prime example of how a mostly mature and deeply political set of lyrics - "Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me" - can be easily co-opted for the most banal and childish purposes. Despite my general disdain for the NME, I will expand on some of the very good points made by Luke Lewis in his blog about the holes in this campaign , primarily these:

RATM are already a world famous band with their fair share of corporate affiliation. Anyone else remember their time with the WWF, now WWE? Furthermore, they are a Sony act so Simon Cowell, whose label Syco is a Sony subsidiary, probably benefits from their popularity anyway. Even if he doesn't, the idea that this is somehow a drive for independent music is firmly quashed by putting money in the coffers of a major label. Some people are attempting to get around this by claiming that Rage are donating the proceeds to charity, but I can find absolutely no record of this online. The closest I have found is that the Facebook group encourages people to also donate to Shelter, a worthy cause, but hardly cutting off the money supply chain to Sony.

As I and Luke both mentioned, Killing In The Name is a song about racism, murder, fear, hatred, authoritarian government and police brutality, all far more serious issues than X-Factor's dominance over the music industry. That this song was chosen for the campagin belies not just an ignorance of their Sony affiliations, the kind of band RATM are and how the music industry works, but also an unhealthy disrespect for the original subject matter.

The Christmas no. 1 is rarely a thing of much import. In his blog reply to Luke, the horrifically misguided Tim Chester, restoring my high disregard for the NME, can pluck only 5 examples from the last 60 odd years to support his counterclaim, one of which is the Beatles I Want To Hold Your Hand, surely one of the worst lyrics ever written by any famous band, let alone one so influential. He also ignores 4 other good songs in that time frame - Moon River, Return To Sender, Green Green Grass Of Home and Hello Goodbye - and the many and various novelty records such as Ernie The Fastest Milkman In The West, Bob The Builder, Renee and Renato and regular Cliff Richard entries. The point being that even if Joe's version of the Climb were not a good song in its own right, and far superior to Miley's version (which it thankfully is, so I can finally listen to that song without having to hear her pathetic whiny voice), there is no great Christmas tradition being broken here. Just like any week in the charts, sometimes there are good songs, sometimes not. Far more important is which songs stand the test of time: the list of Christmas no. 2s has many classic Christmas tunes - Christmas Time (Don't Let The Bells End), All I Want For Christmas Is You, Last Christmas, Fairytale of New York - and general good tunes which have lasted.

Which brings me on to my next point. The charts are ephemeral. Consistent radio play over time is far more important. There have been a bunch of great songs released under the X-Factor banner - Bad Boys, Everbody In Love, Bleeding Love, Leona's cover of Run and this year's charity single (You Are Not Alone) to name a few. Bleeding Love is the only one of these even remotely old enough to make the case, but the fact that it is still played regularly on radio shows it to be a good, or at least popular song. In my opinion, only the good winners from X-Factor and other talent shows survive. When's the last time you heard from Leon Jackson, Shayne Ward, Steve Brookstein or Michelle McManus? They were all shit, and so they've all fallen by the wayside. As a friend of mine pointed out, shows like this are a giant A&R meeting with a significant buying section of the British public. But it is only a portion, it is not the majority, and it does not wield ultimate control. Sadly, some people feel disenfranchised by the show, or feel they have better/different taste than than those people who do vote, but that doesn't invalidate what's being achieved. Saying you don't like something because it's from X-Factor is absurd - if it's a good song (which the Climb is), it's a good song, regardless of its source. Art and the artist are always linked, but never the same.

I think there is a problem with people misinterpreting what the X-Factor should be about, as I said in the previous post, but I genuinely think if there were a good Christmas song contender and the X-Factor song weren't very good, the better song would win. Last year, Alexandra's Hallelujah was up against Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah - both versions are bad, neither a patch on the original Leonard Cohen live take. 2007, Katie Melua raining on Eva Cassidy's parade with the Wonderful World duet lost out to the utterly awful Leon Jackson version of When You Believe. 2006, Leona's Moment Like This rightfully beat out the turgid piece of shit that is Take That's Patience (which marked their disastrous reformation). 2005, the lyrically suspect and morally reprehensible JCB song lost out to Shayne Ward's ghastly That's My Goal.

So recent form very much shows that X-Factor shit beats non X-Factor shit, and that good songs beat bad songs. But 2004 had 2 good songs - Ronan Keating's duet Yusuf Islam (previously Cat Stevens) on Father and Song vs. the Band Aid 20 cover of Do They Know It's Christmas - and charity won out. 2003 was again a good double header, and although I personally prefer the Darkness with Christmas Time (Don't Let The Bells End), I don't begrudge Michael Andrews and Gary Jules with Mad World. 2002, 2001 and so on - the results speak for themselves. The last time a great song was stuck in the number 2 spot by a shit song was over 20 years ago, in 1987, when the Pogues' Fairytale of New York lost out to the Pet Shop Boys' unabahsed mauling of the Elvis classic Always On My Mind.

In the end, opposing X-Factor on principle is ridiculous because, as I said in the previous post, there's nothing wrong with the principle of X-Factor, only, arguably, things wrong with its execution. I don't mind people paying money for Killing In The Name, because it's a great song. But they should do it for the right reasons.

Tuesday 1 December 2009

An unexpected top 10

So I've been working on my application to study songwriting at Belmont, and one of the questions is about your favourite songwriters. I thought I'd poke through my iPod and see which songwriters crop up the most. The results were interesting:

Blink 182 – 106
George Michael – 46
Beatles – 33
Jack Johnson – 31
John Mayer – 31
Queen – 30
Craig David – 29
Will Smith – 27
Muse – 27
RHCP – 25

The presence of Blink 182, George Michael and John Mayer is no surprise to me. Chances are I will list them as my three primary influences. Queen and RHCP were a big part of my teenage years, and still influence my glam rock and funk rock leanings respectively. My love of RnB and rap is neatly surmised in Craig David and Will Smith, though Eminem, the Neptunes and various others almost made it on the list. Jack Johnson makes sense, even if I don't see him as a big influence stylistically, because there is some similarity of style with my acoustic stuff.

What I was surprised by was how high on the list the Beatles are. Many of you may know my opinions on the Beatles, but for those that don't, here's a quick summary: they're overrated, not in their impact, obviously, but in their quality. They were good songwriters, but were prone to awful lyrics, especially early on (I Wanna Hold Your Hand, for example). I don't like Lennon or McCartney's voice, or what I know of them as people. The only one who seems to have been a tolerable human being was George Harrison.

I especially dislike many of the arrangements, which are frequently twee or don't suit the song, for which George Martin is often to blame. Sometimes the arrangements are perfect - Back In The USSR is a simple surf rock song with a simple surf rock arrangement; there's an uncomplicated but majestic brilliance in the string quartet of Eleanor Rigby; the casual cool evoked by the stunning drum pattern of Come Together borders on the iconic. I don't think my reaction against them is based on their popularity, although some small part of it might be. Ultimately, I appreciate them as songwriters, if not as a band (interestingly, I recently came to the same conclusion about ABBA).

There were lots of bands who affect my writing I was surprised to see not on there. Oasis, for example, have had a massive influence on me, as well as a lot of 80s, funk and pop rock - Alanis Morisette, Bryan Adams, Crowded House, David Bowie, Stevie Wonder, Bon Jovi, Santana etc., not to mention modern stuff, obviously disadvantaged by fewer albums - Goo Goo Dolls, The Darkness, The Kooks, Orson, The Killers, Kaiser Chiefs, Incubus, Keane, Lenny Kravitz, U2, Rooney. There's not a lot of old school stuff or a single musical theatre writer in there, like Cole Porter, Andrew Lloyd Webber or Stephen Schwarz (although he just misses out). Jazz is not represented, no Joe Sample, Jamie Cullum, Dave Koz... I deliberately left out neo-classical soundtrack music, otherwise Howard Shore, Hans Zimmer and John Williams would dominate.

I suppose it's the nature of a top 10 list, and obviously, I've only included songwriters, so there are other singers and performers missing. But still, my tastes are quite varied while the list is quite narrow, and if you'd ask me to guess beforehand, I'd have definitely got it wrong. Anyway, feel free to contribute your own top 10 lists.

Sunday 29 November 2009

Why I've Changed My Opinion On The X-Factor

Finally, finally, Lloyd is gone from the X-Factor. With the departure of Jedward, it means it's truly back to being the competition it was envisioned as being.

Ask me 4 years back about my opinion on Pop and American Idol, X-Factor, Britain's Got Talent and all their ilk, and you would have got a very different response. In an interview for my secondary's paper, as the frontman of one of the school's top bands, I was downright vitriolic. It remains true that I would never go on any of them (unless as a featured artist or a judge), but I have to admit to being drawn into the panto of reality based shows. Having since worked closely with the brilliant Andrew Muir (2008 Britain's Got Talent Finalist), I also realised that they are sometimes a great platform or stepping stone for talented people who otherwise would get no exposure. I don't even mind the incestuosness of the situation, the endless procession of Sony artists or show affiliates who perform, thus, apparently, securing their position at or near the top of the charts the following week. I'd argue that, as long as people are aware of what's going on, then it's good, healthy competition for the music industry, like this generation's Top Of The Pops (except, of course creating rather than reflecting the charts).

All of which is why I get so angry with the British public, most of whom don't seem to have a fucking clue what the show is. From the Xtra Factor's People's Panel and guest panel, to Facebook, to Twitter, to the papers, so many people have totally missed the point. I'll break it down, point by point:

This show is NOT a popularity contest. First and foremost, this is an important point. How much you like the person singing is irrelevant unless that affects your opinion of the music. It sometimes does mine - I have difficulties appreciating Radiohead because Thom Yorke's head is so far up his own arse, it's a wonder you can hear him sing. But we should all be adult enough to separate art from the artist. Does the fact that the Gallagher brothers are twats make their music worse? No. Does the fact that Lloyd and Jedward are nice enough blokes make them better singers or performers? Not by a long shot. This intangible thing people don't like about Danyl is either latent homophobia (on the case of Danny Dyer, for example), or some other irrelevant thing (he has cow eyes, he opens his mouth too wide). We're now finally at the point where we have 4 acts who are talented enough to produce a single worth buying. That's one thing this show is about.

It's NOT about making people's dreams come true. It's not some absurd extension of Jim'll Fix It or the Make A Wish Foundation. It's a talent contest. Yes, Stacey's obviously a lovely lass (although they have rather glossed over her extremely early pregnancy - she's only 20, for chrissakes), but she's still the weakest singer left in the competition. She's the only one who hasn't produced a wow moment for me - Danyl and Joe have had loads, and Olly really won me over last night. It's academic now, but Louis' endless crap about "two young boys living their dream" is irrelevant. We're not here to help them. They're here to help us.

It's NOT about who has improved the most. If you start crap, and get good, you're still not as good as someone who starts amazing and stays amazing. They don't have "most improved" medals in the Olympics. The music industry isn't very forgiving like that. So all this bull about Joe being "too good" or "too perfect" is just that, bull. You have to judge on an absolute scale, not by the individual goals and achievements of each act.

It's NOT about voting for people who come from the same place as you - I'm looking at you, Essex and Wales especially. This is not the fucking Eurovision song contest. Where someone comes from is broadly irrelevant as to what capacity they have to make good music. It might influence their style a little, but there's hardly an Essex style or a Welsh style or a Geordie style. There's just good music and not good music. Get over yourselves.

This show IS absolutely about having the best artists at the end, and the best of them getting a recording contract. Or at least, that's what it's supposed to be. But until the British public wake up, and start treating it as what it is, rather than a joke, or a popularity contest, its detractors will have genuine ammunition. Obviously, some of you undoubtedly think it's a joke by definition. Fine, don't participate. But for the rest of you, it's not about what you want from the show. There's entertainment enough already. The more you lose sight of what this kind of competition is, the more often we'll get served duds like Leon Jackson and Shayne Ward, and miss out on those genuinely talented people who don't have any other chances...

Monday 23 November 2009

So after reading this article (don't worry, I haven't taken to reading the Telegraph, I was linked to it), I decided to test the waters, throw myself to the dogs, and various other risk-taking metaphors. It may surprise some of you to know I was accepted. There are a few possible conclusions that can be drawn from both my inclusion, which will be at least in part defined by your estimation of how attractive I am, and about the phenomenon generally. Bear in mind these are only possible conclusions, I'm not saying these are all necessarily true (or false)...
  • Not many British people had applied, meaning there was a high chance the sample was skewed. This depends on what you consider a statistically viable sample - it does say that out of 295,000 UK residents who applied, only 35,000 were successful. The UK population is roughly 61,360,000, so that's 1 in every 208 Brits applied, and 1 in every 1753 who was accepted.
  • The sort of British people who apply to 'dating sites' in general, or ones that are beauty specfic in particular, are not attractive or instead conform to some idea of beauty which is very British and not internationally recognised. See, for example, the predilection for heavy make-up, tracksuits, our spiralling obesity problem and 'bad teeth' reputation etc.
  • The majority of British people are simply generally not very attractive by world standards. It's a possibility, even if it might seem ludicrous - I don't know about you, but my opinion of someone's physical attractiveness is frequently affected by other things. For example, I used to think J-Lo was fit, but since hearing about what an unmitigated bitch she is, I don't find her attractive any more. It could be that a poor world view of the UK consciously or subconsciously makes Brits seem less attractive.
N.B. Of course, this would mean, or at least heavily imply, that I am significantly more attractive than the average Brit, in the upper 0.057 percentile. So think about the consequences of that before you accept that conclusion, although this was sort of backed up by my spell on Hot or Not (top 1 percentile)...
  • Some particular trend or idea of beauty became commonplace on the site early on and is self-propogating. I have to say, this seems quite likely to me, and is definitely backed up by my browsing and experience of the site, and some of the comments on the original Telegraph article - I have seen a lot of Scandinavians and South Americans and precious little in the way of ethnic diversity.
Anyway, the data is obviously now a few weeks out of date, and it might be that a lot of other Brits have done the same as me. Still, some interesting food for thought/my narcissism/your ammunition...

Monday 16 November 2009

Defending the indefensible

Sometimes justice almost works but I'd be tempted to put an even harsher sentence on this idiot than a 20 week suspended sentence. Firstly, she's the sort of moron that stone-age prohibitionists point to when they preach about the dangers of drugs and alcohol. This woman gives those cretins ammunition through her own stupidity and lack of restraint.

Secondly, this is absolutely no fucking defence:

Richard Bennett, defending Stevenson, said she was a 22-year-old with four young children by three different fathers who had found her life "extremely difficult and distressful".

He said: "There can be no doubt that this young woman was under a great deal of stress.

"She was depressed because of the break-up of her long-term relationship with the father of the two boys."

Seriously, if someone's a slut and bereft of common sense and any sort of foresight, that doesn't in any way mitigate or absolve their actions. Call me a cynic, but I highly doubt this woman found 3 different men she truly loved, all by the age of 22, and was with each of them long enough to make an informed decision about whether to have a child or not. She is the definition of a train wreck, and if there were any circumstances that would merit compassion, like a difficult childhood, a death in the family or whatever, then surely they should/would have been mentioned as part of the defence (assuming sense on the part of the BBC), ahead of some break-up with the latest of her baby daddies.

This woman is entirely responsible for her actions, which are undeniably reprehensible, selfish and reckless in the extreme. She does, however, deserve a second chance, but only if she cleans up. She has shown she cannot exercise restraint, and so cannot be trusted with drugs or alcohol if she is to continue interacting with her children. To that end, I'm not sure I agree with the judge's decision to publicise her name. Of course she should be made to feel ashamed (if she doesn't already), but rooting for "open justice" might have sunk her chance for redemption.

These children deserve a mother, and at the age of 4, they might be too young to remember the incident. But the upshot of a public verdict is that in all likelihood this woman and her kids will never be allowed to forget what happened. Is it fair that the children live in the shadow of this, or live without a mother? I am not saying Stevenson should get away with what she has done, but I'm not entirely sure what the judge was trying to achieve through "open justice"...

Thursday 5 November 2009

Things that make me lose faith in humanity

Please watch this video without reading any of the comments or the rest of my blog. Do so with an openish mind.

Now, the video itself is quite pleasant, other than occasional cinematographic hints which imply content and judgement, like the camera resting a little too long on words like immigration and money transfer. It is a video showing an apparently happy, lively community, with people working and contributing to the economy. It is the annotations that make this disturbing. Firstly, simple factual errors and lies, like the idea that only 8% of the world's population is white, which is clearly and quickly disproved by a google search

But there are more disturbing claims, like Peckham being a hotbed of crime. We do not see ANY crime in this 10 minute video. Another quick search does show Peckham as a bit of a dangerous place, but this is a) put in better perspective by comparison to other city centres rather than national averages containing rural statistics and b) more of an argument against ghettos than immigration. Yes, problems can arise when people band together rather than integrating - this is my only problem with the multicultural system as we run it, that I don't believe there is sufficient desire for or pressure on first generation immigrants to integrate into British society. I think people living in Britain should at least be able to speak English, and should speak it wherever possible, in the interests of courtesy, fairness and integration. While I recognise that some things are not translatable, or that it's rare to be able to express yourself as freely and readily in a second language as in your mother tongue, people who have come to live here will never improve their English if they default to speaking their own language because it's easier.

But language aside, there is little else problematic with multiculturalism. Certainly, my father and I, who probably fall under that bracket of "middle class liberals" or whatever the horrific annotations brand us as, went to Harringey last week to "celebrate" the multiculturalism in the form of the amazing Turkish restaurants they have there. It's a Turkish sector, but it hasn't descended into a ghetto, because the inhabitants recognise the need to be part of the greater society which surrounds them. This is part of the key to stop ghettos forming - you can't force people not to live near each other, but you can educate or show them that there is no need to seek out familiarity and safety, or that, if they do, that they are still part of a wider network. It's precisely marginalisation and attacks like those of the BNP on Peckham and other 'ghettos' that will force them to become more and more insular from the world they perceive as a threat.

Further to this is the implication that only immigrants commit crime. Now I've been beaten so badly by a Colombian who was trying to steal my phone that I ended up in hopsital. But I've had as much if not more problems from white chavs as any other racial group. There's an assumed causality here by the BNP, that black people commit crimes because they are black, rather than because they are marginalised or poor, often because of the colour of their skin or the language they speak.

All this comes on the back of further small-mindedness in the States. Last week, if you didn't know, voters in Maine repealed state legislation allowing gay marriage. In a virtual rerun of Proposition 8, right down to ridiculous claims and outright lies like "Gay marriage will be taught in schools", idiocy and bigotry prevailed again. Such tactics are also to be found across the fight for healthcare reform, with lies about death panels and compulsory insurance, tying healthcare to the Nazis, or in the White House's War on Fox News, and their phantom ratings spike.

Seeing as my political beliefs and affiliations are complex and manifold, I will say this: as long as the right continues to use the tactics of fear, hate, half-truths and lies, they will undermine any genuine credibility that they may have. It is sometimes a malaise of the left too, but oh so much more rarely. So you can spout your figures on how many people listen to the Limbaughs, the Becks, the Hannitys, and the Griffins of this world, but until they cut the bullshit and start talking in simple truths, they are simply doing a disservice both to the truth of there arguments, such as it exists, and the people who follow them. It's bonfire night, people. 404 years ago, a man with a revolutionary spirit built a bomb to kill a King. Tonight, it is probably too much to hope for that the same revolutionary spirit might overcome those who blindly follow the shit-stirring demagogues of this world. But we can console ourselves with this - since a lot of the BNP and Republican support is elderly, the sound of the fireworks might cause a spate of heart attacks, clearing the way for gays, immigrants and healthcare reform across the world...

If only...

Monday 2 November 2009

It's been said

Nicholas Lezard's facile views on Twitter make you wonder whether he has ever taken time to use the service.

But I just thought I'd add my voice to those emphasising that Twitter is just a medium through which people interact. One might argue that the arbitrary 140 word limit encourages banality, but one would be wrong. It encourages succinctness - brevity, as they say, is the soul of wit, and Twitter is wit personified (it's in the name).

As a Facebook user, I used to be sceptical about Twitter - what's the point of a site that basically just gives Facebook status updates? But when I joined, I discovered a whole different ethos. You can get an insight into celebrities, and learn that John Cleese and Ross Noble are genuinely mental, that John Mayer is a brilliant pun machine, or that Eddie Izzard is sadly boring. You can discover articles and websites and jokes you might never have otherwise come across. You can keep in touch with friends who don't use Facebook, or are Twitterati themselves.

Because updates are all there is to Twitter, rather than the wealth of information of a Facebook page, people update all the time, and not just with the minutiae of what they're eating. You say that the downfall of Trafigura could have been accomplished by an "ordinary online campaign". Which is what, exactly? To match Twitter in this, you'd be talking emails or campaigns reaching or a website visited by hundreds of thousands of people in half a day. Twitter facilitates things like showing Jan Moir as the hateful and misguided slime that she is, or publically outing absurd injunctions like Carter Ruck's.

To summarise in the form of a Twitter post:

Twitter is simply a reflection of its users. So don't rag on a great form of social media just because you're afraid of some human stupidity

Thursday 22 October 2009

A Zero Sum Game

If you haven't yet seen it, I advise watching last night's Question Time with first ever BNP panellist Nick Griffin.

I have always supported this move. I have no sympathy for Griffin, or ANYONE who voted for the BNP for whatever reason, it is simply inexcusable. But having these views and policies clarified, exposed to informed and rigorous public debate and eventually shown for the toss that they are is the best way to undermine movements like this. Anyone who, after such an examination, still supports them is beyond help, and quite frankly can fuck off out of the political system. Sadly, we didn't get such an examination tonight, certainly not in an undiluted form. The show cannot be said to have been a resounding success for several reasons:

  • Griffin was all too often shouted down or heckled instead of being calmly and logically dismantled, as would have been easy to do on more or less every occasion.
  • There was still far too much political point scoring by all three of the major parties, in the vein of "Oooo, it was the Tories who started this" and "Errr, it's Labour's fault that..."
  • When directly questioned about the reason for the BNP's rise in power and popularity, not one of the MPs, especially not Jack Straw, put their hands up and said "Well, we ALL dropped the ball. That's how this happened. Our people feel disenfranchised and disconnected from politics and that is everyone's fault, government and not."
  • The audience were bordering on loutish at times - stupidities like the "Dick Griffin" comment are not only childish and facile, but such vacuous and emotional attacks can only help to foster the "man under seige" image which will empower, rather than weaken, the BNP.
  • The protestors outside were ironically trying to curtail freedom of speech by preventing a democratically elected politician from appearing, by invitation, on the show. The irony comes because they did this under the banner of "Unite Against Fascism". What is more fascistic than using fear and intimidation to censor and silence those with whom you don't agree?Griffin was absolutely right when said that they were "attacking the rights of millions of people to listen to what I've got to say and listen to me being called to account by other politicians". That is, after all, the point of Question Time.


Furthermore, the protest and the subsequent fallout has brought various idiots out of the woodwork, as you can see in this BBC article here:

"Also in the crowd was Lia Deyal, 62, who works with immigrants and asylum seekers.

She was clear that a Question Time appearance gave Mr Griffin a new political status she was unhappy with.

"Question Time is a very legitimate programme and the BBC represents the British people," she said. "So by having him on it's making his voice legitimate and that's exactly what he wants."

I totally reject arguments about an appearance on Question Time "giving legitimacy" to the BNP, as peddled by Lia Deyal and the frankly absurd Peter Hain - if the British public really are that malleable and stupid, then we're all fucked anyway, so what's the point in fighting it? As Bonnie Greer said, the public have more common sense than to be so easily swayed, or so one would hope.

Obviously, there were good things to come out of tonight. Griffin was exposed as a slimy, manipulative, homophobic, paranoid bigot. He barely put an argument together in response to any question or allegation; some of those he did were logically undercut. He clarified some of the beliefs of the party, or attempted to, but was shown to be flip-flopping like a motherfucker, especially with regards to previous quotations. Some of the things he said were outright laughable, such as defending former KKK leader David Duke on the grounds that his chapter had been "non-violent". Bonnie Greer's presence helped enforce the point that you don't have to be in politics to recognise this guy as a fraud and a cunt.

One of the biggest problems of the night though was the audience. This was a West London audience, which is fair enough - London is the capital of the UK, and undoubtedly the most important city within it. Any argument against is simply deluding oneself. But the problem with a London audience is that they are, almost by definition, the sort of multicultural that Griffin is seeking to eradicate. They were never really going to give him a fair cop, because they feel threatened, and the two obviously sympathetic blokes in the audience were swiftly hushed by the overwhelmingly aggressive majority.

I appreciate that it's an issue people get emotional about - I was shaking with adrenaline and anger for much of the show. But we cannot allow emotional responses to rule what should be logical debate. Politics can benefit from passion, but it should never be based upon it. We should always seek to engage people on a primarily intellectual level - granted, there are a great many supporters of the BNP (who knows the precise number) with whom this is not the style to which they are accustomed, and some who are simply incapable of such engagement. Much like the portrayal of the rednecks in South Park, their politics are entirely reactionary, based on primitive and immediate responses to stimuli. Such people we probably have to discount - I can't imagine they are anywhere near numerous enough to be a significant section of the voting populace, or that the time it would take to reeducate them as to how to engage with the world around them would be politically justifiable, though it would almost certainly be worthwhile on a humanitarian level.

The upshot, and the downside, of letting emotion get the better of you is that the audience, and, indeed, some of the panellists, were basically attacking Nick Griffin. Which makes him the underdog. And boy, do we Brits love an underdog! Here are some of the top voted comments by readers about this topic on the BBC Have Your Say forums:

I'm afraid I can't hear you Mr Griffin, the BBC appear to have 'inadvertantly' allowed in a whole bus load of Guardian reading social workers to shout you down from the audience!

Martin, Leeds (approximately 650 recommendations at the time of writing)
______________

If I could get a word in above the howls of protest from idiots in the audience I would ask how he is going to tackle the out of control population problem in the UK, how to curb young idiots in too powerful cars endangering everyone else and how he'll deal with antisocial behaviour. In all cases I would expect a straighforward answer unlike the other main parties who seem happy to watch this country go down the drain happily aided by the PC brigade. The silent majority are fed up!

solomondogs (approximately 550 recommendations at the time of writing)
______________

Would you stop immigration immedietly,because as a normal member of society who is sick of seeing immigrants who have not paid one penny into our once great country,getting every benefit going,and seeing our pensioners struggle to survive.I say this as a proud Briton,who now fears for his childrens future because it is now clear that none of the 3 main parties just dont get it,what problems immigration is doing to to society.

Grumpysleepless, Newcastle (approximately 300 recommendations at the time of writing)


Now these are sad and disturbing, not least because it could lead me to believe, if I had a worse opinion of humanity, that the minority I identified above as basically being beyond help might not be so small. But years of frequenting the BBC forums has both inured me to the idiocy of man and taught me that a good many more people will complain about something than praise it, whatever actual support for something may be. These forums are very much the haunt of the right, so much so that I sometimes suspect the Daily Mail has a link to the BBC on its homepage.

Let me set out my stall right now - I do not read the Guardian or the Independent, they are often stiflingly and cloyingly left, and sometimes filled with an air of smug self-righteousness I cannot abide. Nor do I read the Daily Mail, hate-filled diatribe that it is - it's not fit to wipe my arse with. The Sun caters to such a low common denominator that the presence of any nuance of impartiality, journalistic integrity or skilled writing is like finding a diamond in your cereal - not fucking likely. In fact, I avoid almost all newspapers, and plump for the BBC website. Even if true impartiality is impossible in the relation of any news story, I'd rather read an account that tries to give the facts undiluted by opinion than what is essentially propaganda. If I have to read a paper, I take the Metro, because it's free, or the Times, because it's well written, and its politics do not far deviate from my own.

But to return to the point, these comments are seriously unsettling. Firstly, anyone who claims to represent the silent majority is either a) an idiot, b) being ironic, or c) to be watched very carefully. Coupled with the use of the phrase PC brigade, it would be all too easy to discount this opinion as the solitary rantings of option a). But just shy of 600 people agree with this. It is the second most popular comment about Nick Griffin's appearance on Question Time, as voted by readers of the BBC forums. So it is not an isolated opinion.

Nor is the most recommended comment, and it's clear, blinkered distaste for the left. Now I consider myself centre-right, or, more precisely, a classically liberal social meritocrat. I have a healthy scepticism for both sides of the fence, as well as the idea of the fence itself. But this comment clearly goes beyond scepticism - it pours scorn on social workers, for Christ's sake, people who dedicate their lives to helping others. And yet 650 people saw fit to agree with this comment. That's 5 times the number of friends the average Facebook user has. This comment leapfrogs scepticism and sublimes right into hatred and contempt, abandoning respect on the way. There are some views not worthy of respect. But to write off the entirety of one's opposition, as is implied here, simply by virtue of their not agreeing with you is sheer madness. It assumes and promotes a self-righteousness that again recalls fascism. It negates the possibilty of proper debate, through which one's own beliefs are tested, and either hold fast, become stronger or are shown to be flawed. Without respect by and for both sides, any chance of growth is lost.

The comment from Newcastle is just as disturbing. Identifying themself as a "normal member of society", whatever that means (presumably 'indigenous' white male), they then propagate the frankly bewildering myth that immigrants are coming here and somehow sliding right into the benefits system unnoticed, rather than doing the jobs most British people feel are beneath them, paying their taxes and contributing hugely to our section of the global economy. There is no evidence to suggest migration has led to an increase in benefit claims. Bottom line, we need immigration, controlled or not. To suggest otherwise is folly.

But for the comments, the worst is yet to come:

Having watched questiontime for many years i am still shocked and disguisted at the obvious prejudice from both panel & audience to Nick Griffin, BNP.
Having viewed this programme i only NOW realise my vote is best spent on the BNP as they have clear ideas on race as this is the only issue discussed and i agree with Nicks views on all points.

Thank you BBC for highlighting what good policies the BNP stand for & believe in!

The argument that the elect voted in frustration is unfounded

GRJ, DERBYSHIRE, UK (170)
______________

Having watched question just now, if ever I needed a reason to vote for Nick Griffin I just got it. I have never before witnessed such hatred directed at one panelist. I was shocked at the lack of control exerted by Dimblebly who seemed to gloat at trying to embaress Nick Griffin. I was hoping to hear contributions from Mr Griffin on a wide range of subjects, all I heard was hate directed at one individual for his non conformist views. Ill vote BNP now for sure.

A Connolly, Manchester (130)


Honestly, I was shocked on first seeing these two comments. But if you read through the reader's recommended pages of the BBC forums, a worrying trend begins to emerge. That love for the underdog I mentioned before is actual turning some people towards the BNP. You might argue that these are the people failing to engage intellectually with the subject matter, and you might be right. You might argue that such people are beyond help. Again, you might be right. You might say it's not a representative sample, that, as I admitted, the BBC forums have an unsettling historical bias to the right. Again, you could well be right. But this doesn't undermine my point - attacking Griffin from an emotional, rather than a logical standpoint is counterproductive. Passion should only complement politics, it should never drive it.

Ultimately, tonight was a missed opportunity. Much has been accomplished, but mistakes have also been made. Ammunition has been handed round to everyone, not least both the BNP and those who would deny them a platform. The BBC took a brave and bold move with this programme, and I believe it was the right one, for the right reasons. But if this is to be repeated, and I hope that it will, lessons will have to be learnt. We cannot allow emotion to rule either the panellists or the audience, or even the chairman, as Dimbleby was often visibly compromised by his feelings on the subjects at hand. The audience must be a more representative sample, and the venue more neutral - London, whilst apparently sensible, was, in some respects, a poor and partisan choice of location for a debate which arguably highlights England's age old North South divide. Dimbleby must also better control the audience, who ran riot a little, and clearly intimdated both the panellists and those among their own number who expressed any dissenting views (see the sharp looks round against the applause for Griffin). The Question Time format must hold strong - too many times tonight the focus swung to Griffin, either as a man under seige or as a slippery and dangerous demagogue. It is such focus, if anything, which will provide him with the much vaunted and sought-after legitimacy.

Some of these problems were foreseeable, some weren't. The BBC will know better next time. And, for the sake of freedom of speech, democracy, intellectual rigour and debate, and, most importantly, for the sake of all those million misguided souls who turned to Nick Griffin as their best option,let us hope that there IS a next time.

Monday 19 October 2009

I no longer trust the BBC Trust

Mock The Week in trouble

The clip in question

Now I'm not sure whether the BBC Trust watch Mock The Week often, but its humour almost always fulls under the category of "humiliating" and "risked offending the audience". There's nothing really in the clip above which isn't in keeping with the rest of the show.
The trust's Editorial Standards Committee also concluded that double gold medallist Adlington had not courted publicity or celebrity status, making the personal remarks unjustified.

They added that the makers of Mock The Week, who allowed sexual innuendo and comments about Adlington's appearance to be included, failed to have an editorial reason for including them

It's true she hasn't courted publicity directly, but neither have many people who are still celebrities. I'm thinking the more private musicians and actors. If you enter a public sphere, and, let's face it, sports are a public sphere, then you're fair game. It's hardly as if they tore her to pieces. Also, the editorial reason for including these comments is that THEY'RE FUCKING HILARIOUS. That's all the reason a comedy show ever really needs.

This is just more of the same bullshit fallout from the Brand/Ross thing - they weren't funny, but the reaction was totally overblown. Some people like edgy humour. People that don't can fuck off, rather than trying to abolish that which isn't intended to appeal to them. Unless there's an actual crime being committed, we should realise allowances need to be made for comedy. People's right to offend is greater than people's right to not be offended.

Now compare that to some of these brilliant outtakes

Sunday 18 October 2009

Butt the fuck out of it

This advert made me so angry I could barely speak or type.

It's entirely the manipulation that makes it disgusting. It's partly the manipulation of the children, who will largely see things in black and white, simplistic terms, and don't appreciate the nuances of such situations. like choice and addiction. It's partly the manipulation of adults who have the legal, social and arguably moral right to choose whether to smoke or not - their body, their decision. You don't see "mum, don't eat so much, I don't want you to die of heart problems" or "mum, don't have so much unprotected sex, I don't your uterus to explode" adverts. So why are smokers villified? It's manipulative because it hinges on an emotional response, rather than a logical or factual one.

It's not the place of adverts to make people want to stop smoking. It's their place to offer help to those who do want to quit.

Right, that's the legacy posts out of the way. Time to bring down the Unions

Anger at Mail plan to hire temps


OK, the thing that really got my blood boiling in this article was this little revelation:

"Employing extra people to do the work of staff who are on strike is illegal under employment law."

I'm sorry, WHAT? That is fucking ridiculous. Obviously I am fundamentally biased, considering I hate strikes of pretty much any description and for any reason, especially financial ones. The only exceptions are general strikes, because that falls more under the line of civil disobedience. But why the fuck should it be illegal to replace the douchebags taking time off, especially temporarily? If their job is so fucking easy that temps can do it for at least minimum wage, then what right do they have to their job?

Quite simply, strikers should be able to be fired. The harder a job is to do, i.e. the more skilled you have to be do it, then the less likely a striking worker is to get fired, as the harder it will be to replace him. But with an easy job, like being a postman, in a broadly free market economy, and especially given we're still in a recession, why shouldn't we be able to tell them to fuck off, and replace them for someone who's happy and willing to do the job as it is? That's free market economics, supply and demand of labour. Hell, I'd probably work as a postman. It pretty much comes down to greed - they're striking over "pay, conditions and postal reforms. " How many other avenues did they really follow before striking? It fucks me right off that we have a culture, and, apparently, a legal system that bends over fucking backwards so far to protect strikers. Granted, we're not France or Italy yet, thank God - Lord Myners, Nick Clegg and various others have both condemned the strike explicitly or otherwise - "unjustified and irresponsible" industrial action, as the BBC paraphrases the Royal Mail.

I know we can't place all the power in the hands of the employer. But even with post-industrialisation and machinery, that can never totally happen - people will always be needed. But there are no safety issues at stake here. Nothing vital. It is greed and stupidity and, dare I say, laziness.

August 20, 2009 Why Some Musical Theatre Matters More Than Others

Much like my Oscar analysis, I'm going to preface my issues with this year's Musical Theatre Matters nominations by saying I sadly did not manage to see many of the musicals on offer at the Fringe this year, certainly nowhere near as many as I'd like to have done. However, I did see A-Team, Princess Cabaret, Baby, Showstopper (8 times), Jerry Springer the Opera, Honk, Merrily We Roll Along, Porn, Gingers, and Facebook,as well as hearing the casts of or excerpts from Over the Threshold, Have A Nice Life, 6 Ways, and Barbershopera.

This is my third successive year at the Fringe, though my first as a performer and not purely a punter. I have seen a lot of good and a lot of bad since I first started seeing shows as a child, but this year, I saw hands down the two worst shows I have ever seen anywhere ever, Fringe or no. A-Team the Musical was one of these shows. I not only do not have words to describe how terrible it was, I'm pretty sure those words have yet to be invented, and will only be said once, right before causing the sudden and catastrophic apocalypse at the end of the world. So the fact that A-Team the Musical has been nominated for Best Book for a New Musical is so far beyond my comprehension that it actually makes Slumdog's Oscar victory seem sensible.

A-Team the Musical was so bad that, in a one hour show, I fell asleep twice, laughed precisely once, and toyed with the idea of leaving every 5 minutes. I only decided against it because I did not want to abandon my equally bored and horrified friend to suffer alone - no doubt he would have walked out too, but he was reviewing it. And yes, he gave it a much deserved one star, though he was tempted by refusing them even that. By contrast, Baby's and Facebook's books were outstanding, though they were by no means the only two of the shows I saw which managed to put together at least a vaguely entertaining or amusing story, something A-Team entirely failed to do.

The second bone I have to pick is with the nomination of Porn the Musical in the Best New Musical category. Now Porn is not the self-indulgent and painful extraction of one's goodwill towards musicals that A-Team is, but it was seriously underwhelming, an almost total disappointment. The music was generally poor (bar the one PHD song), the comedy hackneyed and clumsy and the show just fundamentally crap and predictable - the band, though extremely tight, sounded like a glorified midi keyboard, especially with the twee, synth-heavy arrangements they chose.

The whole show must come under the label of a missed opportunity - they chose to tell a story that coincided with the world of porn, rather than actually engaging with and satirising porn itself, either in the book, the music or the lyrics. The same is partially true of Facebook, but at least their story is engaging. Saying Porn is a contender for the best New Musical is akin to saying drinking your own urine is good for you - even if there's no other option, there's still something fundamentally wrong with it. The logical conclusion would be that there were just a load of shit musicals this year, but I know for a fact that is not the case. I saw Showstopper 8 times, and even on its worst night, it was twice the musical Porn ever was (and 100 times the musical A-Team was).

From what I saw of their Cabaret performances, Over The Threshold will rightly deserve many of these plaudits. I wish Showstopper all the best in their category, and I hope that, where appropriate, George Square is the victor. Chris Grady and the team deserve as much for their sterling work and effort. But I cannot bring myself to support Porn, and I not only wish A-team the very worst of luck, I wish it had stayed a fanboy's dream.

June 09, 2009 1 million idiots, voting for the wrong 'change'

Why they're buying the hype

A sample of the idiocy on display

Let's look at some of these, shall we?


"If somebody votes BNP, it means they are concerned about the uninvited change of the British character and society"


The uninvited change of the British character? How fucking provincial is that? If by uninvited change, you mean immigrants coming over here to do the jobs English people think they're too fucking good to do, I'd say that's an invited change. Or at least I welcome it.


"The nation has spoken in these euro elections. Well done to BNP and UKIP - parties that listen to the man on the street."


If UKIP and the BNP are representative of the man on the street, I'm glad I'm leaving. So xenophobia and barely disguised racism are the norm, are they? Fear of European integration, despite the fact that a federalised Europe is the only way the UK can really compete with the US and China.


"Immigration has changed the very face of this country and in doing so it is breaking apart the very tribal structures that have held our communities together for centuries. The biggest mistake is the labeling of Anit-Immigration people as racist. This has alienated the public even more. This is a crisis brought to us by Labours dnagerous inability to listen to the public. Britain has lost its romance and they want it back."


TRIBAL STRUCTURES!? Has this idiot listened to himself? There's a naturalistic fallacy if ever I've read one - 'oh, we've always been this way, it's tradition. If it ain't broke, why fix it?' Because there's this little thing called progress that everyone's been harping on about, don't know if you caught it mate, but apparently it's the way things GET BETTER! Not all anti-immigration people are called racist - the Tories had some reservations a couple of years ago and the word barely came up. But the US is a nation founded on immigration, and they seem to be doing alright. I agree that labour has problems listening but all this bullshit about romance is ridiculous.


"I can finally see the first signs of dissent amongst the ethnic majority of the British population. For years now the average working Brit has been treated like a second-class citizen in his/her own country."

Oh, the poor, downtrodden white man, totally powerless and can't take it any more. He wants to clean his own toilets, collect his own garbage, go through 7 years of med school to heal his own sick. Why? Not because he actually wants these things, but because when he looks out the window, or walks on the street and sees someone he judges to have not been born here, he gets jealous. That's what it boils down to, and that's why a vote for the BNP and many votes for UKIP are based on idiocy.


"the BNP only have support at all because of continued near-unrestricted immigration into this country, many being economic migrants who send their money out of the UK."


And that's a bad system because...? They have a right (and a duty) to support their family. So either the family comes here, and people whine aboute a strain on services and infrastructure, or they stay wherever they came from, and people whine about money leaving the country. We oughtn't to complain about money earned through hard work going to help the less fortunate, and yes, they are generally less fortunate, even if we're in the middle of our so-called recession. There are British people who are economic migrants to other countries, are we supposed to bring them all back too? What about foreign companies who set up branches here? They send money out of the country, but they still pay their taxes, and they still create jobs, and they still contribute. It's the stupid idea that the majority of immigrants coming here don't contribute, the sort of bullshit myth perpetuated by the BNP, that leads to this stupidity. Hell, we should chuck out all the 'welfare-claiming, teenage chav mothers' first - how are they contributing to Britain? Or are they an example of the traditional British character, the romance, perhaps? I was ashamed to be British when the results came out. Ashamed!

May 17, 2009 Not ageism, just common sense

66 year old mum-to-be

The mother who looks like a grandfather

"I don't have to defend what I've done. It's between me, my baby and no-one else."


Sorry, Liz, but you might have to defend it to your baby. Most people cope with their mother's death past 30. By the time your child is out of his or her teenage years, you'll be 87. If you even make it to that age - fit or not, there's a plethora of things that could kill or severely disable you, and the chances are high you'll need serious medical care before the child hits 20. A mother is supposed to care for the child, not the other way round (at least until the child becomes an adult). What kind of burden is that to leave your son or daughter?


Not to mention the social stigma of growing up with a mother who's twice the age of all the other mothers around, and has a face like a man. As a divorcee, there's no father around to help out, either. This is an act of immense selfishness, and maybe she should have stopped to consider that there's a reason she doesn't have a child (like the fact that she's butt ugly).

February 23, 2009 An Oscar Review from the last 10 years, by Unesco Nobel

Only seen Milk and Slumdog, but Milk is 10 times the film Slumdog is.

All four other films are worthier winners than the empty and vapid blandity of No Country For Old Men. Seen it three times, first time I fell asleep, other times I wish I had.

Have not seen Iwo Jima. The Queen and Babel are only solid films, but still better than the festering pile of shite that is The Departed. A 5 year old could have written that film. Little Miss Sunshine is the stand out piece of genius from that list.

Fell asleep during Capote, and have not seen Good Night and Good Luck. That said Munich is a good movie with one of the most amazing and powerful pieces of cinematography I have ever seen (the sex/kidnap juxtaposition scene), and Brokeback mountain is an excellent film. Both tower above Crash, which suffers from the Pulp Fiction "we don't really need a story, just chuck in a load of (not at all) interesting characters and people will care" syndrome.

It literally hurts my soul that Million Dollar Baby won an Oscar. This was the start of the malaise, the current bad streak, and what a start. I wish I had fallen asleep - oh, for the comforts of the land of nod that Capote and No Country For Old Men provided, rather than the stale and fetid turd of canned manipulative emotion and shitty, unengaging dialogue and action that characterise this film. Ray was passable, though still not Oscar worthy, and I can't claim to have seen The Aviator, Finding Neverland or Sideways, but I find it hard to believe that none of those three is better than Million Dollar Baby...

2000-2003 marked a good streak for the Academy.

American Beauty is a very good film. In most years, I would not have contested its place as an Oscar winner. But the Green Mile is a work of absolute cinematic majesty, and all those involved can feel justifiedly robbed, even if by such a staunch contender as American Beauty.

However much love I harbour for Shakespeare, Saving Private Ryan is one of the finest war movies ever made. Shakespeare in Love is an above average rom-com. The difference in comparison to the rest of their respective genres alone should make Saving Private Ryan the clear choice, let alone the direct comparison between the films. I haven't seen La Vita E Bella all the way through, but, by reputation alone, it may well also be a challenger.

From 1998-2007, the Oscars are 4 from 10. We can only hope for better form this time round...

February 06, 2009 Oops, he did it again!

Oh look, Clarkson said something vaguely offensive. Now where's that bandwagon gone?

Quite apart from the fact that, like Brand and Ross, Clarkson's humour and style is well-established, and you'd have to be an idiot not to know it by now, there is slightly more ammunition this time round, what with Top Gear supposedly being a family show. It's not like he swore though, and people who watch the BBC would do well to remember that a) they don't have to watch, b) the BBC is a bus, not a taxi, and c) a lot of people do find him funny. Obviously, it's hard to see how Gordon's Nelsonian tendencies are relevant to his financial and economic nous, although one might, if one were playing on stereotypes (like the prostitute-murdering lorry driver), say that, being a Scot, he's likely to spend all the countries money on booze, or something equally bland. As it is, it's a funny sounding phrase, on a purely sonic, basically linguistic level, which he almost certainly didn't think through, and has apologised for. I still laughed though.

I also have to take issue with some of the reaction, specifically this obviously ridiculous and illogical generalisation:

"But the Royal National Institute for Blind People called the comment was offensive.

"Any suggestion that equates disability with incompetence is totally unacceptable" said chief executive Lesley-Anne Alexander"

Oh really? So if I were to equate paralysis with incompetence in the field of movement, or cystic fibrosis with incompetence at physically rigorous tasks, or blindness with incompetence at driving a truck or piloting a fighter jet, or a subnormal IQ with being a teacher, that would be totally unacceptable? The clue is in the FUCKING WORD! DIS-abled. Meaning there are things which they are NOT ABLE TO DO, at least, in the normal method of doing them. Whatever moral, social or other considerations follow from that are irrelevant - it is clearly idiotic to claim that equating a disability with an incompetence to achieve something is logically coherent in various situations. It is unacceptable to say that a person with a disability would be necessarily be less competent at things not directly affected by their ability, and there are obviously ways in which some people can overcome their disabilities, perhaps even improve on the normal (e.g. Scott Rigbsy). But the statement says "any suggestion". It's almost worse than Clarkson's, because she's a chief executive and has had time to think about it, and yet still come out with a statement that is clearly, demonstrably and logically BULLSHIT!


Also, I hate snow, if you didn't know already. But even more than that, I hate wankers like Simon Fanshawe who think it's alright for kids to lob snowballs at random strangers. Errr, not it's fucking well not, nor is it your Twelfth Night style night of anarchy, your pretentious cunt. It's an invasion of my personal space, my right to choose whether to interact with the snow or not. And since I am obviously (to anyone that knows me) going to choose not to, I don't fucking think it's anyone's right to force it on me regardless, child or not. In my first year, some wankers hurled a snowball the size of my head out of a car window while doing about 30 miles per hour, which hit me between the chest and the face and knocked me on my ass. As Judi James says in the article above, "some adults feel it demeans their dignity". I'll lighten up when I choose to lighten up, before anyone throws the inevitable and tired barb of me taking everything so seriously. It's my choice when to throw what little dignity I have to the wind, not some kid I don't know with a hand full of compacted ice, and not some probably student twats in a car who, being at Warwick, should probably know better...

January 31, 2009 Today's rant is brought to you by… xenophobia

The trouble with porn is...

The trouble with protectionism is...

I am just worried by people, really. The wealth of idiocy and ignorance displayed in these articles/discussions is truly disturbing.

"British jobs for British workers"? Really? What about the free movement of capital and workforce? Maybe we need a bit of recession to bring down prices in the UK - it's in part because of how much it costs to live here that it pays so much to work here, which is why jobs are outsourced, or undercut by migrant workers in the first place. And that very same free movement of capital means the calls to stop them sending money back to their home countries/families are impossible, even if they might have some merit or justification.

As for the neighbourhood idiots, either they knew what was going on when they moved there, they didn't check the nieghbourhood thoroughly enough, or it was subtle enough that they didn't notice. Even if they've lived there before the studio came about, then there's no moral case against it, except the dodgy arguments against pornography as a whole. If it's a legal business, which poses no necessary public nuisance or threat, then he's perfectly within his rights to conduct his business. I think the absurdity of it is shown by exhibit A, Peter Kite, who I can only describe as a fucking idiot. He says:

"The police say it's legal but they don't see everything. If you've got pornography here now, you're going to have prostitution next, you're going to have drugs. In a residential area? No way - no way."

Sorry, what? Have you just crawled out of your neolithic fuckhole before your brain is done evolving? Is your upper-middle class suburbia being threatened by someone with a legitimate business model? Slippery slope much?

It really does get me angry when people are so xenophobic, so afraid of the other, be it foreign workers, or the pornographer next door. Granted, my knowledge of economics is limited, but, as far as I can see, neither case has any logical merit or value of any kind. It is simply the rantings of the small-minded, and I'm pretty sure if I spoke to them face to face, any of their arguments could be dismantled, even if they might not admit it.

January 08, 2009 Ah logic, my frequent companion

Apparently, God probably doesn't exist. Well, it's news to me. Why? Because it's not actually a justified, coherent logical stance. The ASA should in fact hold up this complaint, and you should believe this whether you are religious or not. This is because it is simply not in the power of the British Humanist Association, or any other group or individual for that matter, to assert the probability of God's existence. It's entirely acceptable to say that one does or doesn't believe in God, but to assert as objective fact the probability of the non-existence of something which is substantially outside the human remit of absolute knowledge and understanding is clearly a violation of the code that "marketers must hold documentary evidence to prove all claims". Where is the documentary evidence for the non-existence of God (which is not specified as the Christian God!)? It simply doesn't exist.

January 07, 2009 You know what drives me crazy…

I've have dreams about doing this very thing, right up till I started learning to drive. Genuinely, I had dreams as young as 10 about taking a car for a joyride and getting caught by the police after hitting a parked car.

The thing that irks me about this article is that the parents are blamed. I'm not saying they're entirely blameless - the boy has obviously played enough driving games to have learnt how to drive, and that's a sad state of affairs for a 6 year old. But I could well have done this, or many of my friends. Are they supposed to hide the keys? Watch their kids 24/7? The only possible case of neglect here is in the mother still being asleep. But I fail to see how that's endangerment. Honestly, it's just a sad, unforseeable scenario. From the information given, I thinking charging the parents with endangering their children and taking the children into care is extreme...

December 06, 2008 Sue me, sue me, what harm could you do me, I'm Chris Martin!

Satriani sues Coldplay


I hope he wins, as well. From the 30 seconds of iTunes preview, there is a passing resemblance, but it's hard to tell how close or not it is. But I just want to see that fucking smug, self-satisfied smile wiped off the cunt Chris Martin's face.

http://blog.wired.com/business/2008/12/emi-pulls-damni.html

November 28, 2008 The balance of power

Shadow Immigration Minister Damian Green arrested


I don't know the details of his contract and obligations, but, if the combined response of the Tories, Lib Dems and some Labour backbenchers is anything to go by, the mark has definitely been overstepped. It also brings to light the conflict between duties - if, as a minister, he comes by information which he truly does believe is in the public interest which has not been released, which is the greater duty, that to his contract or that to his constituents? Look at the leaks mentioned:

  • The November 2007 revelation that the home secretary knew the Security Industry Authority had granted licences to 5,000 illegal workers, but decided not to publicise it.
  • The February 2008 news that an illegal immigrant had been employed as a cleaner in the House of Commons.
  • A whips' list of potential Labour rebels in the vote on plans to increase the pre-charge terror detention limit to 42 days.
  • A letter from the home secretary warning that a recession could lead to a rise in crime

The middle 2 are perhaps spiteful and risky manoeuvres, but the first and last are most definitely in the sphere of knowledge of public interest. Though it also raises the question of whether he would wish to die by the sword as well - by uncovering information this government wishes to keep secret, he (and Cameron through his endorsement) loses any right to the moral high ground should the same thing happen under a Tory government.

Regardless, it seems an extremely excessive and heavy-handed way to deal with the situation. The obvious overreacting comparison is 1984, and we're not there yet, but it is a step on the way...

November 08, 2008 Retaining the moral high ground

I just watched the film The Kingdom. If you haven't seen it, I recommend it. But it got me thinking, not least about the very visceral reactions it caused in me. It's possible this blog will totally undermine me if someone digs it up in the future, or open me up as a target for future attacks, much as if I blogged on my feelings about internet criminals and terrorists and fraudsters (like this story of opportunist cunts, for example). So if you can't bear to see me jeopardise my career, or don't want to lose respect for me due to some unintended offence (unless you're a suicide bomber, in which case fuck you!) then stop reading now. The fact is that the issues are important, and the discussion open and current. In The Kingdom, the chief Saudi investigating officer for a particularly deadly terrorist attack talks about how he is past the point of reason - he simply wishes to kill those responsible. I think this had special resonance for me on the back of rewatching Full Metal Jacket, particularly the scene where Joker executes the sniper to save her from further suffering, despite the fact that she took out three of his friends. I always find myself criticising him for it. The bitch should bleed to death, I think every time, slowly and painfully bleed out. It is a deep betrayal of my Christianity, as it is a step further than an eye for an eye, but if you start shit, you get everything that's coming to you. Or at least, that's the gut response, and that's certainly how I've handled fights (physical ones) in the past.

Putting aside the extreme fucking cowardice of terrorism, I find myself at a hypocrisy, one which is highlighted at the end of The Kingdom (spoilers coming). The final lines are two variations on "Don't worry, we'll kill them all" delivered from either side of the conflict, poignantly undermining much of what appeared to be the ethos of the film whilst pointing out that violence begets more violence. And yet I found myself agreeing entirely with the Saudi officer. The fuckers should die. But why do I feel like that? Watching the terrorists make bombs (as in physically construct them), I wondered how anyone could be a party to something that is an indiscriminate instrument of death, something which cannot be aimed like a gun. A gun can be awful in the wrong hands, but arguably has its place in keeping peace in the world, not least because now that they have been invented and proliferated, I cannot see any path that could lead us back to a time without them. But a bomb full of marbles and nails intended for any passing 'infidel'? It's literally obscene. Their violence is predicated on a version of God who encourages the wholesale slaughter of children and the innocent (though arguably they forsake their innocence by not being Muslim?). That is no worthwhile God. I wholly denounce that God. I know I'm saying nothing new here, that this has been reiterated countless times by countless people since 9/11 etc., but that God has no business in the world. I do not believe that is Allah's wish, nor do most Muslims, or there would doubtless be far more of what we currently label extremists. You can even believe in the eventual global caliphate without recourse to the barbarism and genocide that characterise Islamic, or for that matter any form of religious or political extremism.

But it's the reaction that I want to examine. Because mine is, like the characters of the film, to say "Fuck 'em, kill 'em all!" And why? Because they want to kill me for a God they've twisted beyond all perception. But, as a Christian - granted a deist who doesn't really believe in the Bible is not the best standard bearer for common Christianity, but the basic tenets still hold - surely my desire for retribution makes me no better than them, and worse, a hypocrite! They want to kill me because I believe in a different God (or different version of God). I want to kill them because they're cowardly fucks who will kill innocent people to achieve unjustified aims, and out of anger and pre-emptive self-defence. But since all their reasons for such actions stem from the difference in our Gods, does it not logically follow that I basically want to kill them because they have a different God to me? Not only does that make our basic reasoning identical, it is as more a contradiction of my faith than it is of theirs - God, in my eyes, allows no room for killing, and I do not have the veil of ignorance, or idiotic or misguided misinterpretation to excuse or explain my reactions.

Eventually, any rational system is based on certain basic unprovable assumptions, premises and beliefs. I do not know how they came to their idea of God (though I might hazard a guess). I criticise them, and any extremists, not so much for holding their beliefs but forcing those beliefs on others, but the problem there is that a) that is the natural extension of their particular beliefs, and b) I have as little rational basis for my belief that it is wrong to infringe on personal freedom in such a way as they have for their belief that it is not wrong. There is no recourse to the fact that most people (I almost wrote civilised people there, how fucking colonial of me) don't believe in terrorism, as inter- or universally valid subjectivity does not bring one any closer to objectivity. Populism is not a justification, a million people can be just as wrong as a hundred. Illegality is not a concern either, as their personal moralities, religiously induced as they are, are such that they transcend legal obligation. Mine probably would too - if tomorrow a law was brought in saying there were too many people on the planet and we each needed to go out and kill one person, I'm pretty sure my personal morality would override the law. And since that morality is based on those fundamental subjectivitr principles, we're no closer to an answer. I suppose if there were an obvious answer, or even an unobvious one, it would have been made apparent, publicised and used in dialogue and treatise. If you have any ideas, I'm all ears.

Of course, there is the fact that the reaction is just that, a visceral, animalistic, knee-jerk response to what we perceive of as atrocities and threatening, non-socially acceptable behaviour. We can rise above it to the point where we don't want to kill everyone. Obviously, if in any measure it can be said to be a desire, it's not one I'm actively pursuing. I'm not joining the military, or hunting down terrorists. But if I were given the opportunity to kill a suicide bomber, I'm not sure I wouldn't. Vengeance is an ugly, but powerful thing. I always thought Joker (in Full Metal Jacket) should have shot or cut off each of the bitch's toes and fingers one by one, make her fucking scream in agony like she made 8 Ball, Cowboy and Doc Jay suffer. Not sure I could do it myself, but then, I've never seen my friends shot in front of me. I might feel differently, especially in the heat of the moment. But similar arguments apply for FMJ, except you replace infidels and Islamic extremists with capitalists and communists. Again, those systems, whilst almost entirely rational, are based on the same sorts of unprovable premises and assumptions as religion, like whether we have a duty to help our fellow man, and in what way etc. Perhaps because of their more obvious rational basis, we can come a little closer to objectivity, but it's still fundamentally an exercise in futility, a battle of opinions that can never be solved by logic alone. Is it acceptable to be utlititarian here? I have often said that one of the greatest problems with any great change in a political system, even if it is a perfect system, is that transition. To bring about Plato's republic, for example, one would pretty much require a revolution, probably a bloody one. But, assuming for the moment that it is a perfect system (it's not), could it not be worth it? If one can bring about a perfect system, whereby there is the chance for potentially limitless happiness or contentment from the point at which the system is fully functional, is it not worth a few deaths? A little evil for a greater good? A finite loss for an infinite gain? If that sounds at all familiar, the words Third Reich might jog your memory. Hitler thought he had a perfect system, and was willing to sacrifice to get there. But logically, aren't we obliged to?

Perhaps it depends on the strength of one's convictions - most of us retain some sense of humility, realism or doubt regarding our beliefs, that doubt acting as an inherent check on us forcing those beliefs onto others. But if we were entirely convinced and certain, if we had indisputable knowledge, is it not a moral duty to act on that knowledge if it will benefit others? What separates 'us', then, from 'them' is not so much the type, but the strength of belief. If we all believed the things we do with full conviction, we would all be extremists. Is it arrogance that permits us the high ground, the arrogance we lack that they display? For there is simply no possibility whereby one could gain objective knowledge (except the cogito), even of God. Even a religious experience gives one certainty only for so long as one is having it - as soon as it fades, you're forced to rely on memory, which, as Russell's 5 Minute Universe Hypothesis shows, is wholly unreliable. Could they possibly live their entire lives in a state of religious experience? It seems unlikely, but it is not disprovable. Why God would choose them specifically and not others, and why he would encourage activity most of the world finds reprehensible is nigh on impossible for us to understand, but that could well be just an aspect of God's ineffability, of we as finite, imperfect beings trying to understand an infinite perfection.

So we're not exactly back where we started. We have narrowed it down to one logical possibility which would explain how they might be objectively right or justified in their actions, even if a) that possibility is entirely unprovable, and b) it gives us no definitive answer on whether we can retain the high ground, or even whether there is a high ground to maintain.

And if you read all of that and still don't want to kill me (I'm thinking of you, dad :P), you truly are a friend.